Friday, May 7, 2010
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14
I am waiting. Everyday I wait. I wait to not feel sad. I wait for things to feel normal again. I wait for the things in my mind that overwhelm me at the end of the day, to go away. I pray, and I wait. Although the majority of the past week has been ok, a few days in between have been rough. Swimming with the girls, I look around...a dad is throwing his daughter in the pool-like Marcus would throw our girls at the lake....and I hold back tears. Later on when I honestly tell Sela I have had a rough day, been missing her daddy a lot, she describes the same feeling when she saw her friend's dad throw her in the water.. :( So we are feeling the same things and it seems certain moments really hit us hard. But we keep waiting. We pray that one day, those moments will only make us happy and not sad. I trust they will. It is the only way I can get out of bed. It has to get better. I just will not accept anything else. We are staying busy. I make sure activities keep us moving. We just have to keep moving. Yesterday we had our intake meeting at a local support group for grieving families and we will start that soon. We are all excited about this. I pray we meet families that can help us-and we can help-get through this difficult time.
From the lyrics of the attached song:
I wait for the Lord
My soul waits
I wait for the Lord
In his word I place my trust
In his word I rest
In his word I place my trust
for I know I must wait
Thou shall not live on bread alone
But by every word of God
I will not live by bread alone
But by every word
Placing my trust in His word is the only way I make it through each day. So I wait.
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3 comments:
It WILL get better. I promise.
When I fall or do something "ungraceful", I laugh at my mom. When Matthew sneezes, I laugh b/c my PawPaw would say "Scat!" These things will come with time :)
Hoping and praying your days will become easier.
Stephanie from Washington
Hang in there... I lost my son in a car accident, and know about the sadness and grief you are experiencing. I read your blog, and know you are a strong person. Your husband is somehow watching out over you and your family. Keep your faith. We will all join the Lord eventually "on the other side" -- in the meantime, you are here where you are supposed to be. You'll be okay. It will never be easy, but you'll be okay.
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