Today has been a very rough day for me. I had a little break down this morning-I told Marcus I was ready for him to come back to me. I need him to hold me, kiss me, hug me, talk to me like he used to...I miss him so much. Yes he is still here, but with the pain meds, it's like he is not him. I am so ready for our life to be back to normal. I am ready for us to be a family again. I am ready for Melanoma to leave and never come back again. In the middle of his own fight, he looks at me and tells me "I'm coming back baby, I'm trying, I'm coming back!" and then he prays to God to give me peace. He is praying for my peace. Can you even wrap your minds around that? It is hard for me to wrap mine around it-but I thank God for every second I have with Marcus and although this season is the hardest we have ever weathered....I know we will be stronger because of it.
Yesterday was a pretty great day for Marcus-he ate 2 ribs and some carrot souffle from Willy Ray's! A milestone as far as food goes. And I was so thankful. Tonight he actually ate 2 pieces of a steak finger and he even dipped it in cream gravy :) Again, I was thankful.
Sela wanted to have a day for us (just the 2 of us) to get mani/pedis and I told her we would do it during spring break-but Marcus was admitted to hospital for her entire spring break, so we never did it. Well, today, I told her we would and we did! It was great to get away, just the two of us and take our minds off of "cancer". Thank God for Marcus' mom being able to stay with him-I don't know what I would do without her. THANK YOU DEBBIE! I LOVE YOU!
Sela is still is having a hard time with all of this, but being able to talk to teachers/counselors is helping. I just keep praying Marcus will be well soon, so we can look back and say, "So glad that is behind us."
Last week, the day Marcus was released from the hospital, a friend from work, Kevin Sanderson, came by the hospital with a collection gathered from some of his co-workers. The time this man took out of his life to come by and visit Marcus and bring an envelope of hard earned money from others-was so greatly appreciated. And every person that donated and signed the envelope-THANK YOU. I am attaching a picture I took of the envelope, because I didn't want to misspell anyone's name...but you know who you are-Marcus thanks you, I thank you and our girls thank you for your kindness.
Wednesday night after the regular church service at Golden Triangle Church on the Rock, family and friends will gather (around 8:15-8:30pm) to pray for Marcus. I will be there with the girls, but at this point, I don't think Marcus will make it. His mom has offered to stay with him so I can go and I am so thankful-it has been weeks now since I was able to attend church-and I need to so badly. Anyone is welcome to join in prayer....He needs all he can get before he gets chemo on Thursday.
Thank you all for your continued support, encouragement, prayers, emails, text messages, etc....we love all of you and although our road is rough right now, we believe it is all to bring souls to Jesus.....and the more souls we bring to Jesus, the happier we will be...so if that means we have to endure pain, suffering, etc. longer, then we will-and we will Praise God every second. It doesn't mean we won't have days where we feel like giving up, because we will, we are only human...but I will promise you this.....as long as we have air in our lungs to speak and ask God to give us strength and guide us-we will.
1 comment:
Mindy - thinking of you today as Marcus gets his chemo. I cried when I read how you want to be back to normal again. I remember feeling that way so badly when Mike was diagnosed. I was so jealous of the "normal people"...I still feel that way but I am learning to "accept what I have". Stay focused on your faith and try not to think about the past and the things we cant control. Love to you.
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