I come alive when I've broken down and given you control...............

Beyond Measure by Jeremy Camp pretty much sums up where I am today....please check out the video attached..hope you enjoy...

Just reading the chorus gives me peace....
"I know that I’ve been,
Given more than beyond measure,
I come alive when,
I see beyond my fears
I know that I’ve been given more than earthly treasure,
I come alive when
I’ve broken down and given you control"

Every day I find a new obstacle-something I thought I was over ..like, seeing Marcus' clothes in the closet, or his toothbrush, or smelling his cologne....things that I thought I could see and not get upset with...and then the knot in my stomach returns..and I just keep praying for strength.  Tonight we went to church and I was reminded again how powerful it is to be loved by God and truly know without a doubt where I will go when I die....and it makes me so happy to know that Marcus is there now...maybe a tad jealous because he gets to enjoy paradise while we have to carry on down here, BUT it makes me rejoice because I know that one day, we will see him again.  I have to admit, the past few days, even though I knew all that, I wasn't exactly able to be happy about it...I have had some rough moments....anger, sadness, frustration....the list goes on...but I am so thankful for the word of God, because when I read it or hear it preached, I remember who I am, what I stand for, and I press on.  No, I am not perfect-I have daily struggles, temptations, etc...but I keep asking for God's help, and he keeps helping!  I truly do come alive, when I've broken down and given all control to God....what an awesome feeling!  <3