When I see the word "widow", I don't really think of myself. I mean in all reality, yes, I am a widow...and I am only 35....that seems crazy to me...today has been a roller coaster of emotions day for me...I attended the funeral of Mr. Mark Hidalgo and as I watched men enter the church in their ExxonMobil uniforms I couldn't hold back the tears...every time I see one of those uniforms, my heart drops to my stomach...I am sad, lonely, angry, frustrated..all things I keep inside because I have to hold it together...I have 2 girls that need a strong momma...but it doesn't mean it is easy....I know Marcus is better in Heaven...I know he is healed...I know God has a plan for our lives...but what is it? When will He show it to us? I am so clueless...please pray for me...because I am so anxious about what is in store for our lives now...I don't like being alone-I never wanted to be a single mom....but I know that I have to trust God to lead me where He wants me...and I do trust Him....I just need help in the patience department :)
Anyways, sorry for the venting. but this blog is my place to get it out...thank you all for your continued prayers for me and my entire family..we feel the prayers...but please don't stop sending them....tonight my prayers will go to Mr. Mark Hidalgo's family....he no longer suffers and has joined Marcus in Heaven-what a great reunion they must be having :)
1 comment:
prayers for you my friend...i've always admired you in how you put your marriage first and were a wonderful wife. in fact, many times, i ask myself, "what would mindy do?" you spend you 15 years of marriage doing what's right by your husband and family and trying to start a new pattern for you family. i understand your never wanting to be a single mom...I saw my mom do it, and i'm doing everything i can to prevent it now...i know it must be frustrating. hang in there...you are doing a great job!!
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