gettin back to normal-whatever that is :)

well, life is finally starting to appear normal again-i guess you can say normal-i have never really known what that really is :) thank the Lord we only had minimal damage after Ike-we all made it home safely-but just got internet and cable back late saturday night!! i have been waiting so long to get back on the computer!!!

sela had her 8th birthday party on saturday and it was a hit! the kids had a blast-i will post some pictures later.

marcus is back to work and still getting his interferon shots on monday, wednesday and friday. he had to miss some while we evacuated for the storm, but he resumed them quickly. some days are better for him than others. but he is hangin on. he is SO strong. i love and admire him SOOO much. i am very proud to be his wife and the mother of his children. God made a very special man when He made marcus.

sloane started mother's day out back up-she only got to go one day before Ike, so it was like she was starting on the first day!! it was rough and all the kiddos seemed to be upset-but she goes again tomorrow and i am praying it is better!! hopefully since it is clifford the big red dog day, she will be REALLY excited about it ;)

we went to church again yesterday and i was so glad we did. i always feel so much better after church-the Lord is really working on me-and i am obeying!!! my heart is wide OPEN!!!

well, gotta run-just wanted to post to let everyone know we are safe, happy and working on healthy!!! love you all and pray you are all doing well!!!

i'm a big girl now!

well. tues was sloane's first day of mother's day out! from the pictures you would think she did great-but she freaked when i left her!! her teacher says that she did better after she finally stopped crying-she even consoled another little boy while he was crying!! tomorrow she has her second day, so here's hoping she does better!! the little girl i keep also attends the same program, but she is in another class. the teachers told me that sloane found her on the playground and was talking to her and brought her elmo back to her :) how sweet! guess she was glad to see a familiar face! i am so excited about both girls having this opportunity to be with other kids and other adults-they need structure and discipline from someone other than just their moms and dads :) at least that is what i keep telling myself!

marcus has been doing ok on his interferon shots. they still make him extremely tired and sick-but he is holding on. he had a visit to md anderson on monday and dr. lee told him that at this point he has a 75% chance of remaining cancer free-(PRAISE GOD) but if he finishes the year long treatment of interferon his chances will improve to 83%-so he has decided he will take the shots as long as he can-but he HAS to go back to work-so it will all revolve around how he handles the shots while working. no matter what, i am behind him 100% and know that God will take care of him, so i feel good about it-today anyways :)

dilemma of the day is IKE-i can't wait until hurricane season is OVER!!!!!!!!!!!! one of my sisters is getting married on sat-right after IKE is supposed to make landfall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am freakin out about getting stuck in evacuation traffic and not being able to make it-i am praying hard tonight that either it gets postponed, or something major happens with IKE's track-Lord help us!!

give it up, get over it, go through it, get it done!

we went to church today! i was so happy that we finally made it! we have been wanting to get back to church, but there always seems to be some excuse the devil uses to not let us get there! anyways, the pastor preached about "getting to the gold"-the place God wants us to be-and before we can get there we have to do the things above-"give it up, get over it, go through it and then get it done!!" we gotta give up our own desires, get over the things that hold us back, go through the tough times and then get whatever God has for us to do, DONE! this really spoke to me-every day it seems i struggle with things that fall into these categories: either giving up my own fears, or getting over past hurts or mistakes i made..and lately we are all going through tough times-having to watch someone you love so much, suffer-just so he can be alive for you and your kids-that is tough. which leads me to getting it done!!! i just can't wait to see the awesome things God has in store for us-the things He wants us to accomplish as a family and as individuals-i am READY! never in my life have i been this ready-my heart is wide open and i pray that God will use me to do everything i am here on earth to do!!!!

update on marcus: he took his second shot of interferon on friday and he had better results. he took his pre-meds (zofran and tylenol) and didn't have such bad side effects this time. he even felt well enough that we took the girls to the houston zoo on saturday! i had been wanting to do something special with them-and he suggested it. we surprised them and wouldn't tell them where we were going-they were so excited!! it was a great day!!

never should have left home!!

well, we evacuated, because marcus' grandmother was nervous about the storm. if it wouldn't have been for her, we would have stayed. these pictures are after we finally made it to our destination about 5am on sunday morning. i had a wedding scheduled, so we didn't leave until about midnight! sloane was still going strong, but sela and her pillowcase with her and heagan on it were out like a light!! we came home monday and have been trying to get back on schedule ever since! sela didn't go to sleep until about 2am this morning, so i hope she makes it through the first day back to school today!

marcus got his first shot of interferon at 4pm yesterday. he tried to see how he would react without taking any pre-meds-well about 7pm he started getting the chills, shakes, fever-so i gave him tylenol. he was still fighting a 101.4 fever at 10pm. he gets his next shot friday, so hopefully he will pre-med and not feel so bad. we go back to md anderson on monday, and he is going to talk to dr. lee about the shots-whether or not he really needs to continue them or not. i hate to see him suffer-he has suffered so much already! it is so hard to see him start the shots after he has been interferon free for over a week and doing so well. it just feels like we are going backwards instead of forward. melanoma sucks!

gustav, please go away!!

i DO NOT want gustav to come to texas!!!!! i do not want to have to evacuate while marcus is still having to deal with scheduling interferon shots!!! i am praying that gustav will just GO AWAY!!!!!!

marcus has had this week off from treatments and it has been WONDERFUL!!!!!! he is back to his old self and last night he even wanted to cook gumbo-which he has been wanting to do for weeks, but either hasn't felt like it, or just couldn't stomach it! well, he finally decided to do it last night and i killed myself on it!! it was SOOOO good! he put crabmeat, shrimp, sausage, chicken and crawfish in it!!! i made the potato salad-but it wasn't nearly as good as his gumbo!! :) we invited our good friends marlon & carrie over to eat and marcus' youngest brother cory & his wife amy came with their kiddos!! everyone seemed to enjoy the meal and it was good to have everyone over. it has been a long time since marcus felt like having that much company over and i really think he was happy to see everyone-and to see that they liked his gumbo so much :)

today he went in for his labwork. he is scheduled to start his shots on wednesday, since monday is the labor day holiday. i guess all that will depend on what the heck gustav decides to do-and like i said earlier in the post, I JUST WANT GUSTAV TO GO AWAY!!!

all of my prayer warriors that read this post-please keep 2 people in your prayers-a young man that was a few years younger than me in high school recently discovered he has testicular cancer-and a co-worker of my aunt's had surgery to remove a lump from breast cancer. it just amazes me how it seems everyday i hear of another person being diagnosed with some form of cancer and it saddens me. we have to keep our faith strong-so please help me keep these 2 in all of our prayers. i have seen first hand how your prayers have worked for marcus, and i want the same for these 2. thank you all-i love you all!

he made it through the high dose!!!!

it is with great happiness i post that marcus has officially made it through the high dose interferon!!!!!!!!!!!! he took his last iv treatment today (he had to go through the weekend since his blood count delayed him and made him start on wednesday) and he is SOOOOOO glad! i just gave him some tylenol cause he started to have some fever and aches-but hopefully he will be better by this evening. he will have a week off-and then he will start the shots 3 days a week. then we go back to MD Anderson on sept 8 to see dr. lee. if all goes well he will keep taking shots as planned-but if they make him too tired or sick for work, then he says he will stop because he has to work.

please pray that whatever happens-whether he makes it 11 months with shots or not-that the melanoma never, never, never comes back!!! and God forbid it does, i pray that a cure has been found by then.

the next few weeks will be crazy, with school & soccer starting-so i don't know how much posting will be going on-but thank you all who check on us through the blog. we love you all!!!!

WBC count UP-last week of high dose has begun!!

well, thank God, marcus' count was up yesterday-about 4000-which is about normal-for everyone-so he was able to start the interferon yesterday!! he will have to continue through the weekend to finish, but he WILL finish the high dose and that is what his goal was from the start!!!! you don't know how happy i was when i heard this!

so after this he will start the shots that he has to do on mon, wed and fri-that is supposed to last for 11 months-but he says he will just have to see how they are-if he can do the shots and work, great-but if they make him sick like the high dose, then he will have to stop because he has to work. on one hand, i understand and accept this fact, but on the other hand, it still worries me. i DO NOT want the mean 'ol Melanoma to come back AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! but like marcus reminds me, we are all gonna die one day-so i can't worry about it. i am just giving my worries to God and asking that he helps me find peace with whatever happens.

well, sela will start school next week and sloane will start mother's day out in sept. things are about to start getting crazy again! but i welcome it! i love when school starts-then sela starts soccer, basketball, softball-i LOVE IT!! can't wait until sloane is old enough to play sports too!!

thank you all for your continued support and prayers-we would be lost without you!! next time i post, plan to hear that marcus is done with high dose and shots are going great :) until then......

WBC count still too low!!

well, interferon wins again on this battle marcus faces! just to recap-they draw labs every friday to make sure his levels are ok for his treatments the following week. well, friday they drew his blood and began his interferon. lab results came back just as he was finishing up his treatment-it was 650-and the nurse said if they had known it was that low before hand, he would not have rec'd his treatment on friday! so she said the treatment he got friday knocked his count even lower-NOT GOOD!

SO, yesterday he had to get labs drawn again to see where his count was, before they would give any treatment. unfortuantely, his count was only 700-still too low-has to be over 1000 before they will give interferon! so, he has to go back on wednesday to check again-if count is up he can finish his last week of high dose interferon!!! Dr. Lavalais also said they will adjust dose to lower amount this last week since his WBC count is being hit so hard. if he is able to resume treatment on wednesday, he will have to go through the weekend to finish-BUMMER-weekends are usually rest days for him!!!

no worries though-he is feeling much better and is optimistic that the next stage (shots 3/weeek) will be better. i have to say, i am so proud of him-he has been so strong and such a good patient :) he has hardly complained at all-and i have seen first hand how rough it has been for him. i can't say that i would have been as good as a patient as he has been-but i pray i could have been. i have hated to see him go through all this-but i have truly enjoyed taking care of him. if you know marcus, he is not one that usually gets taken care of-he is the one that takes care of us!!!! so although the circumstances are not ideal-it has been good for us-we have really been drawn closer than ever through these rough times-and we are determined to fight this battle together-melanoma will not take over!!!!!

well, i will post again after i find out about labs on wednesday.

low white blood cell count

well today marks the end of week 3- but we can't celebrate yet! Today's labs showed a drop in his white blood cell count-it was 650-so Monday morning he has to do more labs to see if the count has increased. If not-he can't get treatment!!! A small detail that I know God will take care of :) until the WBC count increases he can't be around sick kids or crowds. I pray he stays well and gets through this without having to battle something else-he has been through so much.

Right now he is taking part in a sleep study. Last week he was having trouble breathing while sleeping, so Dr. Lavalais ordered the study to check everything out. Thank goodness for his iphone and wi-fi :) I gotta be quiet in my rollaway bed so the tech can monitor his sleep patterns-very interesting stuff!

Well, I guess I will try to get some rest too. Hope to have great news to blog next week!

counting down

well, hubby only has 7 more days of high dose interferon. he has been doing well-just stays extremely tired. the weekends are WONDERFUL, because he is back to his old self...which is kinda bittersweet..we are happy that he feels better, but we dread the monday treatment that takes him away again.

he has been keeping himself busy watching the olympics-we all have..we LOVE to watch!! our fave events are beach volleyball (really we love all the volleyball-but, beach is our fave), swimming, tennis, soccer and gymnastics. this has been a lifesaver when hubby wakes up late in the night-he is able to click around and see what is going on in beijing :)

lately i have been reading blogs from other melanoma warriors, spouses, etc....some make me feel better, some make me sick to my stomach!! melanoma keeps touching more and more lives, yet, people still don't get it. they still don't think skin cancer can kill you-or i guess like most things, they just think it can't happen to them....i still feel the need to tell everyone about melanoma....sorry if i drive any of you crazy-but i LOVE you and want to save your life....

gotta go get the kiddos fed, bathed and ready for bed-tomorrow's another day!!

almost half way

well tomorrow will be the half way mark for hubby's high dose treatments. i am counting down the days until i have my sweet hubby back. i told him today that i didn't like sharing him with the interferon. he has been doing pretty good this week-still gets headaches and the unexplainable feeling with his stomach-kinda nauesated, kinda not-just blah-and he is still extremely tired. but things are progressing. i think the girls and i are handling things well-but you can tell they don't like sharing daddy with the interferon either. we just can't wait until he is back to his old self.

i have been reading "When Life Becomes Precious"(a guide for loved ones and friends of cancer patients), by Elise Babcock, trying to learn all i can to be the best support for hubby. i am so thankful for this book so far. it really makes you understand things better and is helping me. i hope this is translating to hubby.

well, tomorrow is an early treatment at 10am. the girls and i are going to meet kerri tomorrow-another melanoma warrior-while hubby gets his treatment-she has 2 girls also, and they will all play while we talk. hopefully she will have some advice for me as well to help hubby and myself cope.

time to get these wild, giggly girls to bed so they will want to wake up tomorrow! thank God again for another beautiful day.

rain, rain, go away!

well, Edouard hit today-we have mostly just gotten rain and a little wind-but treatments when on as scheduled. brought hubby in at 1pm and he was done by 2:15pm!! things are going better everyday. he still gets a little fever and is very tired, but besides that and a little indigestion feeling, he is doing much better with the interferon. he has not had any more chills, shakes or aches-THANK GOD!! he is still frustrated because he stays so tired, but that is just part of it. he is now taking blood pressure meds to keep his pressure in check. hopefully he will be able to get off that after he is done with the interferon. he hates taking medicine!! all and all, i am so thankful that he is feeling better with treatment. i can't wait until he is done-but i am sure he can't wait more than me :)

our girls have been wonderful through all this. we go run errands, eat or something for most of the time we wait on hubby to get done and then we go back to the cancer center and wait in the big waiting area for him. i have been very proud of them both for keepiing themselves occupied and not getting into TOO much trouble during the wait ;) the Lord is really answering my prayers-i have been praying for them to be good and understanding so i don't have to go coo-coo momma on them :) so far, so good!

thanks again to everyone for your continued prayers, support and words of encouragement. we love you all and feel very blessed to have you all in our lives. one day we will look back on this time and be amazed on how we made it through-God never gives us more than we can handle-and what doesn't kill us, truly makes us stronger!!!!

one week down, three more to go!!!!!!!!

well hubby has finished his first week of high dose interferon!!!!!!! i am so proud of him for what he has gone through. thurs and fri have been his best days so far. his fever only went up to 99.4 last night, so that was wonderful. he is no longer having the chills, shakes, etc....now he is mainly battling nausea-but he is taking meds for that, so hopefully that will ease up. he is still extremely tired, but we actually got to watch a movie together tonight after we ate supper-which i was so grateful for that time with him. OUR GIRLS ARE HOME :) we have both missed them so much. they have really put smiles on daddy's face!! they missed him too. our oldest is so sweet, she said a prayer at supper for daddy and then before bed she wanted me to say a prayer with her for him again. i know God is listening to her sweet voice-she is so compassionate for a 7 year old. i am so proud to be her momma!

well, off to bed i go. i pray that we all sleep well tonight and wake up refreshed in the morning.

THANK GOD FOR THIS WONDERFUL DAY!!!!!!!!

another day, another side effect

well last night was rough. He started off so good yesterday we had high hopes. Unfortunately the fever and aches have haunted hubby the past 2 nights. 102.5 was his high last night. Tylenol didn't put a dent in it. Finally around 10 am this morning he felt a little better. Did not really feel like coming today. He dreads it every day. Finally moving and got here around 1:16pm. The ride over made him extremely nauseated. So once we got here they had to give meds for that and his pre-meds before he could start treatment. He was less than happy about the wait. Not to mention everyone sitting around talking and visiting like it is some kind of social gathering. His irritability was being pushed for sure. I think I will bring him some earplugs tomorrow. He needs peace to deal with this. Talked to girls and they want to stay one more night at granny's house. As much as I miss them, I am really glad. Hubby has to be here early tomorrow to see dr-so it is better that the girls won't be here. No matter what, I am going to get them tomorrow.

He is almost done for today. Hopefully we can get out of here before 4pm. I pray he does better tonight. Thank God tomorrow is friday and he will get a 2 day break from this torture. I just don't know how long I can watch him go through this.

Third day was a charm!! THANK GOD!

well, today was the best day of his treatments. we talked about it on the way home, trying to re-trace the steps so we can duplicate it in hopes to get the same results. so here goes:

hubby could not get up for 10am appt, so he asked me to call and reschedule for 2pm. he slept until about 1:20pm, i got him up, he jumped in the shower, got dressed and we were on the road. he ate 2 peaches and drank some water on the way. (this was a first-he has never wanted to eat anything before his treatments) arrived about 2:15pm ready for treatment. he was feeling pretty normal and was ready!! rec'd pre-meds (tylenol and benadryl) and got vitals checked. ROADBLOCK! blood pressure was through the roof-like 160/102....they took it over and over, on the arm, wrist and ankle-then did it manually-still high. dr. ordered blood pressure meds to bring it down. once he had those in his system for about 30 mins they took vitals again. blood pressure was still high, but it had come down-so he got the greenlight to start the interferon. he was relieved! about 5:25pm he was all done and they took his blood pressure again! 133/91-still not great, but MUCH better than the first measurements. the best news at that point-he didn't have any chills, shakes, fever, etc-all of which he had experienced at this point over the past 2 days-THANK GOD prayers are working! time to head home-just in time for RUSH hour traffic. i was really concerned that he would start feeling bad and get carsick-he already hates my driving :) but to both of our amazement he was feeling great-normal, back to my old hubby! i was so excited i kept talking about it-he was starting to get irritated! he felft so good he asked me to go to sonic and get him a santa fe grilled chicken salad-WOW-he has never wanted to eat right after taking the interferon-I AM SO HAPPY!! got home around 6pm and he ate his salad, then got in bed to watch the astros-all was still fine until around 7:45pm-then the headache hit-gave him tylenol-then his jaw start hurting and he wanted to turn the game off and go to sleep-as i type this now-he just hollered for me to please turn the fan off and help him cover up to his neck-chills are back-not as severe, but they are back. well, at least he got some relief today. it may not have been for as long as we had hoped, but God willing, he will be able to make it through. he is so strong and loves us so much. my respect and gratitude to him can never be expressed fully. i pray all that he is enduring is worth it-i pray this melanoma never comes back.

rough second day

hubby is sleeping now. kids are still with granny. hopefully they will come home thursday. i just wanted to give hubby time to begin to deal with this before the kids were running around screaming! our 7 year old will have the toughest time i am afraid. his treatment went well today-still got the shakes after. they kept him longer to monitor him. he just wanted to come home and get in the bed. slept from 2-4pm and then got up and ate some soup. he seemed better, then all of the sudden the headache started and shakes were back. i gave him tylenol and he went back to sleep. i pray it will get better. for his sake, i pray. the sucky part is, he really feels all of this is not necessary. just like he felt he didn't really need to have all those lymph nodes removed from under his arm. there was only that one node that had the 20 cancer cells in it-and none of the others had cancer. now the interfeon-he is only doing this for me and the girls. he swears that is the only reason. i am just so grateful-but still scared. melanoma has such a high recurrence rate. i just don't want him to have to deal with this in 5,10, 20, etc, years. all i can do is give it all to God and stay strong, patient and caring for him. he is my rock-so i have to be his rock right now. words cannot even begin to express my love for him.

second day of interferon

I sit here quietly as my sweet husband receives his second dose of interferon by IV. He is resting now and I am thankful. His first dose yesterday was hard. I pray this drug doesn't have the same results today. Severe chills, shakes, and aches are difficult to endure when you are as strong as my hubby-and never really ever been sick. It is so hard to comphrend that this journey all began just a few months ago. All from a mole on his thumb. To say that we have had a crash course in Melanoma is an understatement. My mission now is to share our experience in the hopes that we can help at least one family either prevent or cope with this horrible disease.